Monday, April 22, 2013

Steps of Faith...

           Welcome to the beginning of our story.

"We make our plans, but the Lord dertermines our steps" Proverbs 16:9

I have never had a desire to start a blog of any kind. However the thought of this blog kept coming up over and over again to the point where I could no longer deny the fact that I was going to enter the blogging world. This blog will mostly be me sharing bits and pieces of my heart and inviting you, if you are interested, to take this journey with me.  


Seven years ago I married the man of my dreams. We were happy, healthy and full of dreams and plans for our future together. We envisioned a cute little house with a few children of our own at some point but we were in no rush for babies to come. We first wanted time for just us and we thought when we were ready to have children a few years down the road we would.

A couple years into our marriage we decided we were ready for children and we wanted to have them now. Children were now apart of our plan. So we tried. They did not come. Never did we ever imagine we would struggle with infertility. This has been a long and at times heartbreaking struggle for us. This as also been one of the biggest faith testers we have yet to encounter. We found ourselves asking questions like, "Has God forgotten us?" & "Are His plans really good for us?" We didn't know what to do and we sure didn't understand. It was a pain we had never known.
Even in the midst of all that God has proven Himself to us both, especially to me. Even though I didn't understand and honestly I'm not sure i completely understand now either, I do TRUST Him. I have by no means walked this road perfectly but there are a few things i have come to know. I KNOW He loves us. I KNOW He has not forgotten us. I KNOW He has more in store for us then we could ever ask or imagine!

For the last few years adoption has been something that has tugged on both mine and Brian's hearts but we were never quite sure how to proceed and if that tugging was God or just our desire to have children.The whole concept was unfamiliar as well as overwhleming to us so we would just bury the idea and go on with life as we knew it. 

Fastforward to the beginning at this year and our hearts began to stir once again in the area of adoption. I was not sure if I was willing to let my heart go there but my wonderful husband couldnt shake it. Brian began to pray. The Lord began answer. Doors just started opening for us in places we would never have even thought. It seemed that God was directing every step we were taking to something or someone with information we needed. God began to make it clear to both of us that this would be the year we would step out in faith and persue adoption. We feel we have been in a time of preparation for this for the last several years and that this is the path the Lord is leading us down and we are so excited!

We have already chosen the agency we will be working with and have applied and been accepted. We also have already had our 3 homestudy visits and we are just awaiting the final paperwork to come back so we can finish up this process.

While we are so excited it is still a little overwhleming at times. This is a huge step of faith for us. Questions frequently run through my mind like "How will our family react?" "Will we be waiting long?" "How will we afford this?"
We of course are trusting God to provide and we are sure this is His leading but these questions are still there as we wait. Waiting is always the hardest part for me because i want so badly to do something but wait I must.

This new adventure has only just begun! We will keep you updated along the way.

~Brian & Jennifer